Pokémon Sex Toys Allow You To Keep Augmenting Reality

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Catch All The Ooohhs

July 28th, 2016 – Pokémon Go has allowed gamers to be active in the real world, catch Pokémon, and meet other people who are passionate about the adventure. Pokémoan dildos allow people to stay in the comfort of their own home, catch that good feeling, and feel OK about the fact that you don’t need anybody else. The Pokémon Go app has taken over people’s smartphones (and pop culture news stories) since its release earlier this month, and the couple behind Geeky Sex Toys decided to capitalize.

The Australian based couple stimulating their bank account and your personal inbox is Emma and Josh, and they spoke to Mashable about why they started the company. They’re self-described big geeks who had trouble finding nerdy toys at adult stores, so they took matters into their own hands.

“Our aim was to reimagine the boring toys in a fun and nerdy way by simply creating the things we were looking for,” Emma told the site over email. “We believe a sex toy shouldn’t just be a tool to get you off, it should be fun, entertaining and visually pleasing (as well as physically pleasing).”

If you hurry, you can purchase the limited-edition collector set for $199.99. It comes with all four toys and a pokécase included, as well. If you buy them separately, it’ll cost you $50 – $69 each. The four Pokémon-inspired toys are “Bulby,” “Charmy,” “Squirty” and “Piky.” IsItFOO will walk you through the ins and outs of each one with some visual help via Buzzfeed:

Bulby: According to the site’s “Pokésex data,” the seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall, and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide. It’s described as a pleasurable friend to have, and seems to have no problem being “friend-zoned.”

Charmy: Coming in at 18cm tall and 4cm wide, the site claims it gives “intense orgasms everywhere it goes.” It’s labeled as the thinner frame as evidenced by its flaming tail. Whatever stokes your boat.

Squirty: Stats are listed with the head measuring 4cm wide while the body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall. The grooved turtle shell on the back seems to be visually appealing, but there may be more than meets the eye.

Piky: Clocking in at 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall with a tail that is 8cm long, and quoted by the site as a “perfect size” anal toy. “Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team.” Unfortunately, our office isn’t looking to expand at this time.

The overwhelming Pokémon Go craze may have died down a bit; Survey Monkey’s data concludes that the game may have climaxed. The usage peaked on July 14th, however that peak included over 25 million users playing the game on that day. If you take a look at real-time stats, it’s still a consistent download, and that popularity is what pushed “Geeky Sex Toys” to produce this line. There had always been a plan to create toys of this franchise, but the “Pokémon Go” release rushed production.