Put On A Pair of Shreddies and Fart With Confidence
Never Leave Home Without Them…
May 14th, 2018 – The year was 2013. The words “twerk” and “selfie” were added to the dictionary. A Norwegian pop star gave us “What Does the Fox Say?” Justin Bieber peed in a bucket at a nightclub. But even with all these wonders, there was still one major problem lingering: how could you fart in public without inflicting terror on your fellow man? Then along came Shreddies – the original flatulence filtering underwear.
Yep, it’s underwear that makes the space around you not stink when you let one rip – to frame it more eloquently. The UK-based company has been shipping these beauties worldwide after industrial designer named Paul O’Leary invented them alongside a lingerie designer.
Shreddies may not stop that pesky sound, but they will cover the odor (or odour if you’re wearing the garment in their homeland) as long as you’ve chosen the correct size and are in the correct position. If you’re unsure of how this all works, the website thoroughly, and quite seriously, lays out all the details.
“Shreddies flatulence filtering garments feature an activated carbon back panel that absorbs all flatulence odours. Due to its highly porous nature, the odour vapours become trapped and neutralised by the cloth, which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment.”
The activated carbon cloth, called the Zorflex, is the hero you deserve and the one you need. It has been described as “attaching a military-strength Brita to your butt” and will last between two to three years as long as you’re correctly following the care instructions. IF YOU USE FABRIC CONDITIONER, THIS WAS ALL FOR NOTHING.
And if you’re having trouble getting the correct size or body position, Shreddies has added fairly foolproof products to their online store. Flatulence pajamas, jeans, and undershorts are available for the man or woman in your life who wants double the protection, double the fun. For £83, Shreddies assures its customers that “pyjamas are the perfect solution to situations like staying with friends, a work-trip or a new relationship.”
We know the question on everyone’s mind is “do they really work? We’ll say this…the models in the product shots certainly make a convincing case.
If you don’t trust them, plenty of Amazon users have vouched for the undies’ superpower, and a couple of CNN journalists have even given the thumbs up. No word on whether or not Trump has called this fake ooze, but Jarrett Bellini says they do their job.
“Just know that the experiment was working and, over the next two and a half days, I would continue this aggressive line of eating, consuming everything from shepherd’s pie to a dank, soupy bowl of cheap fast food chili. All in the name of journalism,” he wrote. “And here’s the end result: These things work.”
Shreddies won the “Look Good, Feel Good” award from the Association for Continence Advice, and they have appeared on many a talk show segments over the years. You should definitely watch the clip below.