Company Sells Out of $1,425 ‘Jesus Shoes’ Infused With Holy Water

Jesus Shoes
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“The Holiest Collab Ever”

October 15th, 2019 – It apparently took God six days to create the heavens and the Earth, but a Brooklyn-based creative label only needed one minute to sell out of “Holy Water Jesus Shoes.” MSCHF sold their re-imagined Air Max 97s for $1,425 last week and new owners are now literally walking on water.

Daniel Greenberg, the company’s head of commerce, had a gallon of water shipped from the Jordan River in Israel (the spot, according to the Bible, where Jesus was baptized). The company didn’t stop there; they called in a priest to bless it, dyed it blue and pumped it into the soles for you rich, easily influenced souls.

The “Jesus Shoes” have a Bible verse number inscribed on the side (Matthew 14:25, which reads “And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea”) and a gold crucifix looped through the shoelace. They are also infused with the resin frankincense, so if you’re doing a lot of walking on water maybe they won’t get too musty.

Jesus Shoes
Jesus Shoes

Nike isn’t officially a part of the collaboration, and the idea for a collab wasn’t even grounded in a serious spirit. Greenberg, speaking to the New York Post, said MSCHF wanted to parody “collab culture.”

“We thought of that Arizona Iced Tea and Adidas collab, where they were selling shoes that [advertised] a beverage company that sells iced tea at bodegas,” he said. “So we wanted to make a statement about how absurd collab culture has gotten. We were wondering, what would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?”

Greenberg jokingly added that Jesus was perhaps the most influential person of all time. But in the year of our Lord 2019, the company reached out to Instagram and YouTube influencers to build some hype around their new kicks.

YouTuber Seth Fowler posted an unboxing video of the “Jesus Shoes” calling them the “I died for your sins 4’s.”

While the original “Jesus Shoes” went for $1,425,” a nod to the walking on water Bible verse, they are now being hawked for nearly $4,000 on re-sell site Stockx.

MSCHF describes itself as “a counter-culture media/product brand, playing in a gray area that isn’t yet defined by traditional approaches,” and they plan on dropping new, innovative projects every second and fourth Tuesday of the month. Praise be.

Did the “Jesus Shoes” speak to your soul or make you bow your head in prayer? Funny or Offensive? Vote and comment now…

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